I have always known that I want to raise my children to be independent people. Meaning, they don't count on people doing things to make them happy or that their own worth is not subject to what others say or do. I want to raise them up to do things for themselves and to never really rely on anyone for anything. The only one we should rely on is God, and I'm certain he will never fail us.
Now, obviously while raising little ones, this independence is taught in different forms than one would think. You know, put your own shoes on by a certain age, have daily household responsibilities, and most importantly, do things without being made to do so. Too much to ask? Nope. Is it for my own satisfaction? Absolutely not. In fact, it is much faster and easier for me to do all of this myself, but what would that bring in their life?
There are phases. It's like you do the teaching, they learn and do it for awhile and then BOOM...they get defiant. I mean for real, who wants to put their own dang shoes on anymore?!
That's currently the struggle we are on right now. School has started, they get up early and stay up later than I say they can and they are wore out. They sit in a classroom for 7 hours or whatever and are expected to do things there. They don't want to come home and do it all over again, you know, do what is expected of them. I get it, I totally do. But there is a line somewhere that no one has found, something that works for everyone.
I've come to the conclusion that maybe I was putting a little too much on them at their age and stage right now. We have cut it down to 2 chores a day, that take less time to complete than the time they take to complain about it. But think about it.....when they leave my house, other people will expect WAY more from them than I ever did. I will never just let my kids sail through life being taken care of by everyone else.
Jeepers, where on Earth do people go in life with no responsibility or motivation? Pretty much nowhere.
Sometime, somewhere, someone is going to depend on your child for something. It could be being a spouse and doing the work that it takes in a marriage, becoming a parent, getting a college degree and being someone in a career that many people depend on them. Whatever it is, they have the right to be prepared for it. And that's on you, mom & dad.
I guess this all started just by a glimpse at how children act everywhere I go. The kid in Target who is throwing a fit because she wants something and mom always gives it to her, even though she didn't earn it. Or the teenage girl who thinks she deserves a cell phone and new stylish car to drive, just because her parents owe it to her. Because that's what parents do when they love you. It drives me BAT SHIT CRAZY! Stop spoiling your damn kids and teaching them the OPPOSITE of values and worth in this world. That shit comes with responsibility and you EARN IT!
I see people give me the "bitch look" all the time because I am actually PARENTING my children instead of keeping them quiet and happy. Discipline. 100% agree with it and I think that's why shits going crazy today, people stopped actually caring about the people they HAVE to release TO THE WORLD at some point. I don't go for instant gratification, I go for long term success.
Pay attention to your kids and do the work it entails. Sometimes it fricken sucks...and we all need to vent about the struggle sometimes, but at least we are DOING it.
Suck it up buttercup, I'm sure a lot of you hate me right about now.
Please excuse me while I continue to drown out the noise of a child screaming because she wants me to take her shoes off for her. Could I easily take them off, yes. Am I going to? Nope.
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