Momma needs a little help here!

So, every month we indulge in chocolate or whatever cravings we have to try to convince ourselves that our period wont kill us. And if you have kids, your house probably has a few other temptations as well. This summer may or may not have consisted of a few alcoholic drinks here and there and blah blah blah.....

This is where I RESET my body. I feel it's being ran by sugar or caffeine. I feel it starting to lag and my ambition wears out. My sleep gets a little out of whack, and illness is bound to strike soon. Winter is coming. I want to be somewhat prepared with a healthier body, right now it is definitely a toxic body, don't tell my husband... ;-)

So, starting next Monday I am starting the Ultimate Reset. It's a 21 day detox that goes much deeper than your silly colon cleanse that doesn't let you eat and you choke down 500 pills a day. This is the real deal. Real, good food, a schedule, meal plan, supplements not in pill form, nutrition is being ADDED, not subtracted....Gosh, I could go on.

Any who, there are 3 phases or weeks. And by the end of this detox my skin will be amazing, I will be sleeping like a little baby, my gut wont hate me anymore, energy back where it should be, mood is a lot safer for my husband and kids, period easier to deal with...Overall, I will be a new woman! I've done this detox before and if it was a joke, I wouldn't be doing it again.

So, clean out all these damn toxins so my immune system can fight off all these crappy MN illnesses this winter. Momma doesn't get sick days or vacation days. Even when her life is ending, she is still required to take care of multiple people.

Who knows, maybe I will blog about this experience, it is well known that there are some momma's out there who could really use this program. People who are in it for the quick fixes, who don't take the time to find the effective/healthy ones.

After all, my goal is to make as many less than perfect mothers out there happy and healthy! The perfect ones are shit out of luck.

The end.

Bad hair day X 3

I'm already slacking on my posting. I knew that was coming.

Every morning is kind of rough in this house. I have 3 children, 1 of which just happens to be a girl that HATES getting up in the morning. To the point of which I usually dress her while she is still sleeping.
Well, this morning I thought I would beef that up a bit and do her hair at the same time....NOT a good idea. She hates her hair being brushed as it is, but being woken up but it, pissed off X 2...Oops.

So I got the pony in, she was already dressed and now she was throwing a fit rubbing her head all over the couch. ABORT MISSION! Now we have a very cute little girl at school with absolutely horrible hair. My other daughter didn't get her hair done until we got back home from drop offs and me, well, I got the mommy pony today. Such is life.

Did I mention I didn't pick the correct socks for her today? Poor kid is going to have a horrible day all because mommy was trying to be efficient. Dang. Get over it girlfriend!

Little things like this happen every day in my house, as I am sure it does yours if you are a parent, especially to a little girl.

I'm the mom this go around. I get to make the decision on why they hate me this specific day, and I kind of like that authority. I wont lie. What should it be tomorrow?!

If you have a spicy little girl in your life, this is what I found to be the easiest as far as the hair goes. Tubby time the night before, make like 10 little braids in her hair, and while she is still sleeping take the binders out. Then when she wakes up all pissed off at the world, she puffs her crimps up herself. If only I had the time, patience, energy and willingness to do this every night we would be set. Remember, I'm not perfect here ;-)

The boy, well he just sits back and laughs at my misfortune. My husband, well, he is already planning where he is moving to when there are THREE menstruating women under one roof. I say he's screwed and has to stay, don't you?!?

Leaving the stress behind

Man this week was a busy one. Hectic days lead me to a brain overload.

But this weekend has been pretty great, the type of days I live for!

Last night a friend and I actually got to go shopping WITHOUT kids! Yes! We started out with all SIX kids 8 & under in tow at WALMART! Holy yikes! Haha. Which then lead us to releasing them to someone else and going shopping alone. It was pretty amazing! We even got to eat dinner without getting up mid meal to fetch something for a child! Perfect!

Today my husband and I decided to have a family day. Ok, I decided, but he AGREED with a happy heart!

So, we looked up a new pumpkin patch to venture to, as we go to a new one every year and had a great time. I'm really not a fan of paying to get into someone's field and then having to buy $2 tickets for EVERY LITTLE THING my kids want to do. It was fun, and not crazy expensive, but I live for the cheaper fun ;-) So, we had our fun there and since pumpkins were $.45/pound, we went to one we went to last year to get ANY size for a flat $4. Yup, we were pumpkin patch hoppers today and my kids LOVED every second of it.

Surprisingly, there was NO fighting, no request of me every 5 seconds and a little peace as they went and did their "thing" in the corn pit and such. We had some yummy fall treats and bought some dried out Indian Corn to make our own popcorn at home, on the cob! That is definitely something I will be getting every year!

It was so nice to leave the laundry, dishes and random messes from the kids and just go be a family. I enjoyed it so much, that I came home and make homemade stroganoff, something new! And super yummy! I surprise myself daily!

So, I guess the point of my post is, leave all the crap for later and get out and enjoy a family day! Clear  your head and get that quality time together and a million cute pictures! Broke? Find a pumpkin patch that is free to get into and just go for the activities that they have there! You don't HAVE to buy anything!

Going to bed tonight with a clear mind and happy heart, something I truly cherish sometimes!!  <3

On a scale from 1 to 10

Yesterday afternoon I had the kids' conferences. While they are both excelling and have great scores, I couldn't help but think of what I would get.

Every job evaluates their employee every couple of months or so too. So it got me thinking...If my husband were to evaluate me, what score would I get? So I asked him. Of course he lied straight to my face and said I was a 10. Pure lie. I'm not stupid.

Because when you think about it, who really deserves a 10? My attitude is never perfect, my house is never spotless, and sometimes I make a frozen pizza for dinner. I have yet to succeed at making anything from pinterest and my laundry has been sitting in a basket for 2 days.

Yesterday I tried to set myself up good. I got the girls' dance bags ready, set by my purse along with my son's Cub Scout book.

Off to pick them up from school and go directly to conference #1, got there early enough to even check out the book fair. Awesome sauce. Done earlier than I thought, let's be a horribly unhealthy family and swing through a drive through quick because we only have 10 minutes to eat something (no, I didn't pack food, are you serious?!). Wait in line for freaking ever (10 min) and finally tell the kids to chow fast because our next stop is conference #2 across town. Get there and walk into the classroom 5 minutes late. Stay longer than expected and now its 10 minutes until dance. Sweet, we got this, it's 5 blocks away. WRONG....Mommy (that would be me) FORGOT the dance bags and book. DAMMIT, I almost had it too! So, kick'er down and hurry home to grab them. Gas light comes on. MotherF@#%&. Too bad, I'm gonna chance it. Walk into dance 15 minutes late for a 50 minute class and they aren't even dressed yet. Get them dressed in a 1 piece with a tutu.. "Mommy I have to pee"...I JUST asked you if you had to go potty?!?! See how this goes?

Today RIGHT when I got in my hot bubble bath, the school called and I needed to go up there. Umm, sure.

There will NEVER be enough time in the day or energy in my body to keep up with it all. Never. And that's ok. I get overwhelmed at times and struggle here and there, but I know it's worth it.  But just as you complain about your job, or that it's already Monday, I get to feel that way too.

I always have something to do, somewhere to be, and at least 1 birthday party every weekend. But sometimes I JUST DONT WANNA.

Moral of the story, I am HUMAN. Somewhere between 1 and 10 is just that.

Whatever path you take, it's not always going to be rainbows and unicorns.

I think by now you all have come to the conclusion that I pretty much just ramble off random thoughts. Some which may not be the most encouraging or what you agree with. That's exactly why my blog name is what it is. And it's a blog. My blog.

But I wanted to point out to you all that it is OKAY to have rough days, months, and years. No really, it's okay. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a real person.

Where we may differ is how we deal with it. While some people like to vent their frustrations or share their overwhelming day that they have had, others choose not to and often times think people need to quit their bitching.

I'm a fan of being friends with REAL people. People who can listen to my craptastic day and not think I am a complaining negative bitch. The same people that will listen to my awesome day filled with nothing but everything going in my favor, without thinking I am a bragging bitch. In the meantime, sharing with me the same from their lives. I like true, personal relationships. Is this too much to ask of a friend? I guess I am not sure. Should we ever have to second guess a friendship?

As a woman, I know firsthand how one minute I can be living in such an amazing world with rainbows and unicorns, and the next minute my unicorn just crapped on my rainbow, in my bed. I have great comparisons, don't I?!

And as that woman, I know that my husband, father, or brother wont give 2 shits less about my stupid little womanly rants and raves. They don't. I really truly wish that I could be like that even in the smallest way. And maybe I will get there someday, maybe when PMS is no longer haunting me monthly.

Falling in a funk sucks, but it happens, and it is those relationships that help pull us out of those funks. Don't condemn a relationship because someone needs you more than you want to be there. Don't think that it is someone's own damn fault for "doing it to themselves", like working out of the home, or in the home, or having more kids, or getting married....NO MATTER what we choose to do or be, we will NEVER be happy and content with it 100% of the time. Remember, we are people, not robots who can be programmed to be or feel a certain way.


I hope this made sense!

Mommy of the year must be exhausted!

Just about once a day I find myself lacking in something. Whether it is having a kind heart and soft word while my kids are driving me insane, or when I walk into my house and it is destroyed.

Today I forgot "pastries with parents". Yup. I even RSVP'd too. Although, when I got the invite I was trying to figure out how on Earth I was going to be in 2 places at once. Pastries from 7:30-7:50 and shoot across the town to get another kid to another school BY 8. Traffic sucks and it would be a miracle if it happened. But I was going to "roll with it". And then I go to school this morning and couldn't figure out why there were SO MANY PEOPLE! I finally found a spot to horribly park and it hit me. DAMN IT!

So yup, here's another confession..I SUCK.

But when I sit and actually think about it, how many of these "mom of the year" people do all of this wholeheartedly? I mean, keep on top of EVERYTHING for multiple people? I mean is this normal? Am I abnormal? To get up 2 hours before necessary to get yourself all dolled up, home cooked 3 course breakfasts and everyone's hair perfect. Like braids and curls and all. For real.

Yesterday I was thinking on one of my many car rides, how the heck is ONE person supposed to keep track of a MILLION things? How is that possible? Where are these people lacking that I am not seeing?!

So, I kind of got over my own guilt trip on my way back home, not able to listen to the radio because the child felt like it was "annoying", and then it happened again. AGAIN. I walk into my house and see the aftermath of the morning. You know, the morning I didn't get up 2 hours earlier than everyone else to be sure everything was perfect? I kid you not, If I got up at 4:45am by 3pm I would turn into a MOMSTER.

My mind is constantly going crazy, every waking hour. That in itself is exhausting. I need more than 6 hours of sleep.

After an AMAZING Bible study last night...Yeah I see your thoughts, this girl actually goes to church and she still has these types of thoughts and words?!?! Yup, I do, I am human and I am NOT afraid to confess my sinful ways. No throwing rocks from this dirty windowed house here.  Anyways, in the study they talked about "tasks" as you will. You see, the fine line is STOPPING yourself before these tasks or expectations take you away from being a Godly person and turning into Satan's wife. Oh Lordy have I been there. Sadly.

So, this kind of goes hand in hand with my "4 hours of me time" a day. Even though I didn't get ANY of that yesterday. Put the broom down Tiff and go read Psalms. For real. A clean and perfect house with abnormally happy people in it will NOT get you into heaven, nor make your life as great as you wish it were.

NOTE TO FRIENDS: From now on, if you feel my house is not up to your expectations, clean the door handle on the way OUT. I am NOT here to please you and I will NOT put you before the Lord. MmmmKayyy?

Here I am, a less than perfect person and I am okay with that. Even though I didn't get breakfast this morning ;-)

ACTION: Please give me an example of how you feel "inferior" to other moms. Like that time you may or may not have compared yourself to another woman and all the crap she does on a daily basis.

2 steps forward and 3 steps back

I have always known that I want to raise my children to be independent people. Meaning, they don't count on people doing things to make them happy or that their own worth is not subject to what others say or do. I want to raise them up to do things for themselves and to never really rely on anyone for anything. The only one we should rely on is God, and I'm certain he will never fail us.

Now, obviously while raising little ones, this independence is taught in different forms than one would think. You know, put your own shoes on by a certain age, have daily household responsibilities, and most importantly, do things without being made to do so. Too much to ask? Nope. Is it for my own satisfaction? Absolutely not. In fact, it is much faster and easier for me to do all of this myself, but what would that bring in their life?

There are phases. It's like you do the teaching, they learn and do it for awhile and then BOOM...they get defiant. I mean for real, who wants to put their own dang shoes on anymore?!

That's currently the struggle we are on right now. School has started, they get up early and stay up later than I say they can and they are wore out. They sit in a classroom for 7 hours or whatever and are expected to do things there. They don't want to come home and do it all over again, you know, do what is expected of them. I get it, I totally do. But there is a line somewhere that no one has found, something that works for everyone.

I've come to the conclusion that maybe I was putting a little too much on them at their age and stage right now. We have cut it down to 2 chores a day, that take less time to complete than the time they take to complain about it. But think about it.....when they leave my house, other people will expect WAY more from them than I ever did. I will never just let my kids sail through life being taken care of by everyone else.

Jeepers, where on Earth do people go in life with no responsibility or motivation? Pretty much nowhere.

Sometime, somewhere, someone is going to depend on your child for something. It could be being a spouse and doing the work that it takes in a marriage,  becoming a parent, getting a college degree and being someone in a career that many people depend on them. Whatever it is, they have the right to be prepared for it. And that's on you, mom & dad.

I guess this all started just by a glimpse at how children act everywhere I go. The kid in Target who is throwing a fit because she wants something and mom always gives it to her, even though she didn't earn it. Or the teenage girl who thinks she deserves a cell phone and new stylish car to drive, just because her parents owe it to her. Because that's what parents do when they love you. It drives me BAT SHIT CRAZY! Stop spoiling your damn kids and teaching them the OPPOSITE of values and worth in this world. That shit comes with responsibility and you EARN IT!

I see people give me the "bitch look" all the time because I am actually PARENTING my children instead of keeping them quiet and happy. Discipline. 100% agree with it and I think that's why shits going crazy today, people stopped actually caring about the people they HAVE to release TO THE WORLD at some point. I don't go for instant gratification, I go for long term success.

Pay attention to your kids and do the work it entails. Sometimes it fricken sucks...and we all need to vent about the struggle sometimes, but at least we are DOING it.

Suck it up buttercup, I'm sure a lot of you hate me right about now.

Please excuse me while I continue to drown out the noise of a child screaming because she wants me to take her shoes off for her. Could I easily take them off, yes. Am I going to? Nope.

I am accessible to my children 24/7 and I shouldn't be.

I am a mom, I get that. But I am also SO much more than just that. I am my own person.

It's like we get caught up on this thought that once we have kids, that's what we become, mom. That's it. Mom. We think that our children always need to come first and that we put ourselves on the back burner. That's wrong. Totally wrong.

I get that once you become pregnant your entire world changes. But not to the point of erasing your existence as a person and becoming "Joe's mom".

I am a stay at home mom, so this may be heightened for me a bit more than most. But when I spend 100% of my waking hours worrying, caring for, solving problems for EVERYONE else....It takes a toll on me, and that doesn't make me a bad person or a horrible mother. I need to do something for myself every now and then.

Now, I am not a homeschooler, so I have truly enjoyed school starting back up. You know, it's a little more quiet around the house and I have a greater chance of peeing in peace. I mean for real, I will open your applesauce when I am done, thankyouverymuch.

I don't go out to the bar, I don't grocery shop alone, I don't bathe alone. For goodness sakes, where I go, THEY ALL GO. And this needs to stop.

I've let this happen because I am deathly afraid something will happen to them. No one can care for them as well as I can. Last time I went out with my mom and sisters for a FEW hours, I came back to 5 hours of additional cleaning and many broken objects. Is it worth it? Sometimes, but I choose wisely.








Amongst trying to keep track of what kid has to wear what color each day, what kid has hat day, or a spelling test, or for gosh sakes needs to pack a lunch.....I am taking 4 hours out of each day FOR ME. Yup, maybe I am being selfish, I don't honestly give a rats behind what anyone thinks about this.

I have spent too much time on my children and lost myself. Don't kid yourself, I bet you have too at some point. I'm just the one who has the balls to say it to the entire world ;-)

Hour 1- kicking my own ass and allowed to swear at another adult....at home workouts baby!!
Hour 2- blogging away and rambling to you :-)
Hours 3 & 4- with my hubby after the kids go to bed. My most favorite relationship in my life on Earth is with that man. He is my world.

You see, being a mom is kind of my "job". My husband for instance leaves his job at a certain time every day and is done with it until tomorrow. Why cant mom's have that too?! My children are plenty old enough to learn this routine. Unless they are sick, at their age, I shouldn't be up all night. Once my husband gets home, dinner will be done and my cleaning will stop after dinner. I am NOT a workhorse and I refuse to be one just so I can feel accomplished in my life.

Point being....don't kill yourself over trying to be perfect. Its not worth it and it turns you into someone you are not meant to be. I tried it and it fricking blows, big time.

So take me as I am, perfectly imperfect. Kudos to the mom's who have a perfect little life, doing everything themselves and are still genuinely happy.

ACTION: In the comments below, post what YOU do for YOURSELF. It's only fair that since you get a peak into my crazy life, you can at least take 2 seconds to answer one measly question.

If the "perfect person" was on clearance, we still wouldn't buy it!

Welcome to the blog of a self proclaimed less than perfect person. I don't even know what being a perfect person entails, but I already know that I want nothing to do with it.

I'm not even sure what this blog has in store for itself, probably many ramblings and horrible grammar.

You see, I am a mom of 3, wife to 1, and a friend to many. I can't keep shit straight and some days I even laugh at myself. My close peeps and I always joke that I need my own reality TV show.

I lose my mind on a daily basis and I love to have everything organized, yet I never know where it is.

I recently realized that I am MORE THAN JUST A MOM. Yup, I said it. I love my kids dearly but where the heck did Tiffany go?! I used to have hobbies and actually showered daily....wait for it...AND styled my hair! WHAT?!

So, some of this blog might be me sharing with you what I am doing to find myself and add value to ME instead of everyone else. I'm a work in progress and I have started IN THE NEGATIVE, so it's taking some time. I'll get there, eventually. Heck, maybe I will learn this thing they call 'grammar' in the process. I'm not counting on it.

I live in Minnesota, but I am 99.9% positive I need to be in Florida. Man the winters here suck the life out of me. My feet are already numb and it's October.

More than 50% of my friends homeschool, I guess opposites do attract in friendships as well. They do an amazing job and are way above "par", that's why I don't do it, I don't want to lower their ratings ;-)

I work in the home. Meaning I keep the house from burning down and keep the people living in it alive. It's way more difficult than it sounds. For real. Sometimes I get some laundry done or even keep a room clean for more than 30 minutes.

I am also a Beachbody coach, I suck at cooking healthy foods and I have to kick my own ass to get up and actually DO my workout, but I'm a heck of a lot better than I was a year ago. Progress not perfection. I AM A REAL PERSON, no front from me here!

I love the Lord and have been working on the daily to have a better relationship with him, let alone what the heck I should and shouldn't be doing. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!

You see, everything comes in phases, and this one wont last very long. I wish for it to pass faster each day, yet beg for time to slow down. I am me. You will never figure me out ;-)

I am a positive and super sarcastic person, if you read the above as a negative...YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

So, click the "follow" or "subscribe" or whatever button it is and see what I come up with next..I promise it will be quite entertaining!!

My goal is to post at least every other day, but I'm sure I will go weeks without remembering this promise I have made to myself. So, if you know me in the "real world", call me out on my b.s. and let me know you are waiting!